Forest of Laughs - Fourth of July
Hey! This is the fourth of July special in my new series of spoofs! It's a little late... but... enjoy! 22:20, July 10, 2010 (UTC) Firestar: It's the fourth of July! ThunderClan: Ooooo! Jayfeather: What's the fourth of July? Firestar: Um... the fourth day of July. Jayfeather: What's a July? Firestar: A type of mouse? Squirrelflight: *clears throat loudly* If I may intrude, I would like to explain the fourth of July for stupid Jayfeather here. Jayfeather: O.o ThunderClan: WE HATE YOUR VOICE. Squirrelflight: *bows* I work hard. Can I explain now? Jayfeather: O.o Sure... Squirrelflight: The fourth of July is a day on which Americans - a type of Twoleg, okay?- celebrate their independence from English Twolegs. Spiderleg: I have an English accent. I want some fish and chips! Squirrelflight: *ignores him* They shoot off fireworks, drop balls- Lionblaze: They drop balls on New Years, stupid! Squirrelfight: *ignores him* They also eat dogs. Brightheart: YAY! DOWN WITH THE DOGS! Down with them! ThunderClan: O.o Jayfeather: I want to celebrate the fourth of July! Spottedleaf: *descends magically from the sky* I will help you with this amazing feat. Sandstorm: BUT YOU'RE DEAD FOX-DUNG! Spottedleaf: *calmly* And you should be an elder right now. Firestar: YEAH! You were mean to me as an apprentice! Erin Hunter: *banishes Sandstorm to the elder's den* Mousefur: AHH! I don't want to share my den with her! I want to share it with Spiderleg. *moons over English accent* Spiderleg: O.o Creep. Lionblaze: How will we celebrate the fourth of July, Spottedleaf? Spottedleaf: We will kill some dogs to eat, and when it's dark, we'll shoot fireworks. Bumblestripe: The trees will block our view! Dovepaw: They won't block MINE. Spottedleaf: We'll invade WindClan and banish them from their territory for the night! Firestar: YEAH! Onestar sucks rat tails. ThunderClan: O.o Spottedleaf: Ookay then. You can lead the ambush, then. Brightheart can go find some dogs to kill, and Lionblaze and Jayfeather can go find some fireworks. ThunderClan: *nods and sets to work* Later, at the WindClan camp... Firestar: THUNDERCLAN! ATTACK! ThunderClan patrol: *attacks* Firestar: *leaps onto Onestar* YOU SUCK RAT TAILS! Onestar: O.o *spontaneously combusts* Firestar: *cheers* WindClan: Yay! You killed Onestar! Ashfoot: Now I'm leader. Firestar: You should be an elder. Erin Hunter: *banishes Ashfoot to the elder's den* Crowfeather: Can I be leader? WindClan: *nods eagerly* Nightpelt: *swoons* I love leaders. Especially ones named Crowstar. Crowfeather: O.o Firestar: We want to do fireworks tonight on your moorland. Crowfeather: Can we watch? Firestar: All of you except Heathertail and Breezepelt. Jayfeather and Lionblaze don't like you. Crowfeather: *nods* If Lionblaze and Jayfeather don't like them, then nobody does. All Cats In the History Of the World And StarClan And All Future Cats And All Cats In The Dark Forest: *shun Heathertail and Breezepelt* Heathertail: *cries* Firestar: *smirks* Crowfeather: Kestrelflight, you flying kestrel. *fail insult* Take me to the Moonpool. Kestrelflight: *obeys* ThunderClan: *cheer* Brightheart's hunt... Brightheart: I don't see any dogs. Spiderleg: I SEE A RAT! Brightheart: I don't see any dogs. Spiderleg: *sulks* Brightheart: Oh, wait! I SEE A DOG. Cloudtail: I see a beautiful, mauled she-cat. And dogs. Dog: *wags tail and barks* Brightheart: ATTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK! *leaps on dog* Twoleg: HEY! Brightheart: *kills dog and tips head* What did he say? Spiderleg: Drag it away and get me some fish. *smokes pipe* Cloudtail: *drags dead dog corpse away* Twoleg: *mutters* Those cats killed my dog. Brightheart: What? We don't understand you. Twoleg: What? I don't understand you guys. Brightheart: *shrugs* He's probably saying that he's happy that we killed his dog. Spiderleg: Do you have any fish and chips? Twoleg: O.o *walks away* Brightheart: HUNTERS! ONWARD! Back in ThunderClan... Firestar: Well, that was exhausting. *flops down and falls asleep* Brightheart: *runs in* LOOK! A FIRESTAR DOLL! Spiderleg: *gasp* A collectable? Brightheart: *nods* A life-sized collectable. Spiderleg: *looks at camera* Collect them all! Brightheart: *in distance* I FOUND A BRAMBLECLAW! *jumps on Brambleclaw* The commercial has ended, so shut up about collectables... Spottedleaf: I see a Yellowfang up here! I said shut up... Spottedleaf: Oh! Look! A Bluestar! SPOTTEDLEAF! Spottedleaf: *mutters* Stupid narrator. I heard that... Spottedleaf: Humph. Okay. Back in ThunderClan... Brightheart: *runs in* We have the dogs! They're lying outside covered in blood! ThunderClan: *cheers* Brightheart: Also, a dog ate my other eye. ThunderClan: *cheers* Spiderleg: *smokes pipe* There is a lack of fish and chips around here. ThunderClan: *cheers* Firestar: We invited Crowfeather and his Clan to watch fireworks with us. *Jayfeather and Lionblaze still aren't back yet* Spottedleaf: Well, good job! Brightheart, I'm happy for your loss. Brightheart: So am I, Spottedleaf. So am I... ThunderClan: *cheers* Firestar: Well, it's getting dark. We should start going to WindClan. ThunderClan: *follows Firestar to WindClan* Spottedleaf: I'm in StarClan. *glares at narrator* Forest: *flinches* Sorry. Spottedleaf: *glares at narrator* Narrator: Spottedleaf followed the ThunderClan cats to watch fireworks in WindClan. She wondered where Jayfeather and Lionblaze were... and she hoped they were okay. Spottedleaf: O.o I'm not wondering where they are. I don't care. I just act like it in the books to make sure that my fans still like me. Narrator: Suuuuuure. Spottedleaf: *angrily* It's true! Narrator: *shies away* Spottedleaf followed the ThunderClan cats to watch fireworks in WindClan. *mutters* Spottedleaf: THANK YOU. *follows ThunderClan* At WindClan *prays that this isn't a commercial*... Firestar: Crowfeather! How are ya, my homeh! *man-hugs him* Crowfeather: I AM CROWSTAR NOW. Narrator: *quickly switches his name* Crowstar: I'm doin' fine, my homehomeh. WindClan: O.o ThunderClan: *to WindClan* Firestar's always like this. Spiderleg: A Crowstar collectable! SHUT UP! Spiderleg: Sorry. Firestar: Where are Jayfeather and Lionblaze when we need them? Brightheart: LETS EAT SOME DAWGS. WindClan: *cheers* Brightheart: *runs to pile of dead dogs randomly on moorland and grabs Dogpaw of ShadowClan* YUM YUM. Ashfoot: Hey! I found an eye in mine! Erin Hunter: I BANISHED YOU. *banishes Ashfoot to the elder's den* Brightheart: Hey! My eye! *pops it in* WindClan: O.o Jayfeather: *randomly appears on top of Firestar* I FOUND FIREWORKS! Lionblaze: *randomly appears on top of Crowstar* It was my idea. Firestar: *collapses under Jayfeather* What have you been eating? Jayfeather: *proudly* Fish and chips. Spiderleg: FISH AND CHIPS? Jayfeather: Shut up. You're not a prophecy cat like ME. Spiderleg: *tear* Lionblaze: *burps* I like being a prophecy cat. Spottedleaf: I'll give the cue to set off the fireworks. *goes to StarClan* Firestar: *tear* Jayfeather: LOOK UP! Everyone: *looks up* *Dark Forest cats explode in sky, yowling and screeching in pain and fear and lack of fish and chips* Spiderleg: YEAH. IF I DON'T GET FISH AND CHIPS, NOBODY DOES. *ninja pose* Everyone: O.o Suuuure Tigerstar: *burps* Hawkfrost: *explodes* Ivypaw: *cries* Tigerstar: *explodes* Firestar and Lionblaze: WOO! YEAH! GO! Jayfeather: O.o Crowstar: *pushes ThunderClan off territory* Thankssomuchforlettinguswatchthefireworksbye! ThunderClan: *cheers* Narrator: ThunderClan ended up celebrating the fourth of July every month, because they didn't know any names for any other months. They lived happily ever after. Spottedleaf: *glares at narrator* Narrator: *quickly* And Spottedleaf killed Sandstorm, making Firestar available. *winks* Director: SCENE! Narrator: THIS ISN'T A TV SHOW OR A MOVIE OR A COMMERCIAL. Director: I know. I just like saying it. Narrator: *sighs* The End...